13 January 2012

Ancestry: The Wrath of Christmas

God himself foretold his coming. Prophets, kings, priests, and peasants echoed history's refrain. And as Father Time marched on, and angelic hosts mounted civil war over the souls of men, and my family - the family of Adam and Eve - fell into the tragic, perverse cycle of rebellion and desperation, transgression and death, as the layers of dried blood coated the earth until all soil screamed crimson for pardon, our old friend and founder worked, ever present, ever persistent, steadily onward preparing a new thing. 

We had glimmerings, foreshadowings, and whispers of what might happen. Sometimes he seemed more the conquering king, others the suffering servant. He screamed in agony and came in glory; he found himself between criminals and laid to sleep in a rich man's tomb; he was David's son, Jesse's root; he put Moses to shame and kings to cowering; he brought the violent to judgment and let loose the captives. His victory parade came with rescued captives, their captors in shackles, trailing behind. And he was bruised. He was broken. He was stripped and humiliated. He was glorious and matchless; he was the descendant of David and he was God in flesh.

I heard it said, once, that his first coming was an invasion of stealth, but I fear little stealth was involved. The enemy seemed well aware of his coming. The invasion began quietly enough, but when some angels lose their tempers and strike men mute, then go on to speak tenderly, then cannot contain themselves any longer and burst into song that lights up the sky and shakes men to their knees, there's very little silent about this night. 

The truth is, the enemy was moving, too. 

This is a tale of anger. 

This is a tale of rage. 

This is was our friend's D-Day.

But that's our friend for you: He laid out his battle plans for all to see, but we were too stupid to understand. Our eyes and ears were closed, our hearts were made of stone. He came anyway, and we had no comprehension. 

For thousands of years, he had watched us sin. We did not respond to discipline, we did not heed the servants he sent. Our hearts proved fickle, our souls that much worse. The blood  on hour hands could not be washed away by the blood of animals; the righteous live by faith, and we were faithless. 

He could have let us die. Maybe he should have. But we mistook his silence for carelessness and his patience for for fickleness. 

For wrath, for mercy, for justice and judgment, for reconciliation and peace, for restoration and freedom, for his glory and our lives, for the righting of all things, he came.  His weapons of choice were flesh and blood and bone, a body of clay and the Spirit of God.  His transport was a teenager on her donkey, his escort a man with worn hands and neither power or authority of our own. 

The King of Kings and God of Gods, the Master, Creator, and Sustainer of the Universe remembered his ancient vow to a shame-filled couple. He remembered the serpent's slander and the couple's pride; he remembered our rebellion and perverse ways; he recalled our treason; he recalled the triumph of Death and the slave-master named Sin; he remembered all our pagan ways and our fickle, fickle hearts and our calloused, worthless designs. 

The nations rage; the peoples plot a vain thing;
my family dwells in darkness; we hiss and curse the light. 
The blood of innocents cries out; the oppressed scream for relief;
the servants of our friend watch on
as the cup of wrath passes into our hands.

The prince of the power of the air, that ancient foe, heard the swift sound of wind and triumphant angel-song and raised his head, ever so slightly, to discern the sound.


"He will crush your head,
and you will strike his heel."

We'd slain the prophets and stoned those sent to use. He'd tried to gather us to pick us up and comfort us, but we wouldn't come. We would not come to him, so he came to us. 

He came with rage against Sheol's maw, rage against the chains of sin, and violence against the killing snake who incited an infanticide once he'd realized who had entered his domain.  We didn't recognize him, but the enemy certainly did.  Perhaps he thought the march to Bethlehem would kill the child while within the womb. Certainly it wasn't by chance that the governor's mind filled with fear and hate; certainly twas no coincidence that that same governor died mysteriously after having failed. 

That was the way of it: Heaven invaded Earth, and Earth retaliated. Our old friend became one of us, and our enemy tried to kill him, even from the womb. While angels sharpened blades of favor, demons sharpened blades of war; while a teenager carried life, Death rode on the back of a jealous ruler, this death he came to slay.  The Cross was his killing stroke, on ground of his own choosing, but the Cradle proved the landing of our dread champion on enemy soil. And the invading army's battle cry was "Glory, glory to God in the highest! And on earth, peace toward men, with whom God has found favor!" 

Our old friend and lord, our everlasting king, stepped onto human soil, the air a-chill and musty, dense with animal smell. And his voice sounded over the rest - behind it all the memories of thousands of years of injustice and oppression, rebellion and tyranny - it rang louder throughout the night, at last settling in to drink.

The enemy heard and trembled, for the great lord put his hand upon the ax and turned toward the tree.


20 December 2011

Ancestry: God became a Man

[Note: Yes, this is entirely quotations from Scripture. I have arranged them in a manner I hope is sensible. ]



Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world. He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, having become as much superior to angels as the name he has inherited is more excellent than theirs.
(Hebrews 1:1-4)

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by faith the elders received a good report.Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. (Hebrews 11.1-3)

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the word was God. He was in the beginning with God. **

The earth was void and without form, and darkness hovered over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God hovered over the waters.***

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. ***

All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men.**

[T]hen the LORD God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. And the LORD God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed. And out of the ground the LORD God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
     The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die...”     
      So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.
(Genesis 2)

[E]ven though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.
(Romans 1.21&22)

And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
(Genesis 3:8-13 ESV)

   
     To the woman [the LORD] said,
     “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;
          in pain you shall bring forth children.
     Your desire shall be for your husband,
          and he shall rule over you.”

     And to Adam he said,
     “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife
          and have eaten of the tree
     of which I commanded you,
          ‘You shall not eat of it,’
     cursed is the ground because of you;
          in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;
     thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you;
          and you shall eat the plants of the field.
     By the sweat of your face
          you shall eat bread,
     till you return to the ground,
          for out of it you were taken;
     for you are dust,
          and to dust you shall return.”
(Genesis 3.16-19)

The LORD God said to the serpent,
     “Because you have done this,
          cursed are you above all livestock
          and above all beasts of the field;
     on your belly you shall go,
          and dust you shall eat
          all the days of your life.
     I will put enmity between you and the woman,
          and between your offspring and her offspring;
     he shall bruise your head,
          and you shall bruise his heel.”

(Genesis 3:14&15)

 Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures. (Romans 1.21&22)

Concerning this salvation, the prophets who prophesied about the grace that was to be yours searched and inquired carefully, inquiring what person or time the Spirit of Christ in them was indicating when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the subsequent glories. It was revealed to them that they were serving not themselves but you, in the things that have now been announced to you through those who preached the good news to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven, things into which angels long to look. (I Peter 1)

These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city....And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of  [judges, kings, heroes,] and the prophets--...of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.
     And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God had provided something better for us, that apart from us they should not be made perfect. (Hebrews 11.13-16, 32, 38-40)


The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world.  **


Now while [Zechariah] was serving as priest before God when his division was on duty, according to the custom of the priesthood, it fell to him by lot to enter the temple of the Lord and burn incense. And the whole multitude of the people were praying outside at the hour of incense. And there appeared to him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense. And Zechariah was troubled when he saw him, and fear fell upon him. But the angel said to him, "Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer is heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John. And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth;  for he will be great before the Lord, and he shall drink no wine nor strong drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother's womb. And he will turn many of the sons of Israel to the Lord their God, and he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready for the Lord a people prepared."

As it is written in Isaiah the prophet, "Behold, I send my messenger before thy face, who shall prepare thy way; the voice of one crying in the wilderness: Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight--" John the baptizer appeared in the wilderness, preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. (Mark 1)

There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. He came for testimony, to bear witness to the light, that all might believe through him. He was not the light, but came to bear witness to the light.**


And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.**



And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father's side, he has made him known. **

Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls. (I Peter 1)

"He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High; and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there will be no end."  (Luke 2)

He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world didn't know him. He came to his own, and his own people didn't receive him.  But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.**








**John 1
***Genesis 1





05 December 2011

Ancestry: A Gentile's Advent

My family has waited centuries for this moment. A grandfather so many greats back I cannot count them picked up his robe and staff, shod his feet with sandals, and started down this road; then his sons followed him; and their sons followed hard after. That first ancestor was a rebel; the next was called a son of God.  As our family grew and spread throughout the world, we had our share of civil wars, famine, drought, family drama, pestilence, massacres, enemies, traitors, cheats, adulterers, and cads. Some of us were mighty men; others pagan saints. From kings to slaves, from businessmen and artists to soldiers, priests, and prophets, farmers, ranchers, nomads, and seamen, my family's line has left no dominion untouched. They called us sons of God and children of light; the people who struggle with their God.

My greatest grandfather, they say, alone is responsible for our old enemy. He chose, and my greatest grandmother chose, and in choosing wrongly they both chose old age, hardship, and death. But this isn't what they wanted, no. They didn't hate our old friend; they loved him.  That day Heaven and Earth wept because the gaping maw of Sheol emerged from the womb of a thing that would kill us all.  But our friend made my greatest grandmother a promise, you see - a promise we're still waiting for: One of us, and we don't know who, be it myself or a great grandchild, pauper or king, seer or shepherd, this relative will be. But we wait, and we hope. 

Overtime, my greatest grandmother bore a son in her husband's image; but we didn't know this was the line until only one branch of our tree remained. And after that catastrophe, another oath was made. Time passed; our numbers grew; our numbers divided; our ability to communicate at will was gone. Broken was the oath to the One; broken the marriage vow; broken the filial love; now broken down our souls, enslaved to the enemy, entrenched in our own poisonous brew.

I have a cousin - it's simpler this way, so far down the line, to say 'my cousin' than discern the exact relational status - who was told a forever-king would come and unite us all again, break the back of the oppressors, this tyrant enemy, restore all these family woes and bring us back under one name, one song, one soul. He had twin grandsons, and our old friend's vow followed this branch of The Grandfather's tree.  But this poor branch was small and no one really believed it possible so delicate a thing could produce so mighty a king.

We watched, then, as this little branch struggled, with us, with our friend, and with our common foe.  Forgive us, Ancient One, for our deeds against our brothers and against you; forgive us the blood we shed, the violence done at our own hands, the knife we raised against our own. Some of us lashed out in indignation; others of us forgot friend and brother and father; some of us grew a deep-seated hate in our very souls: But it all led to one thing, this contempt for a brother and spite for the old family friend. 

The enemy gloats as he turns us on each other. The kings and queens of the earth have fallen; the prophets grow silent; the priests fail their charge. Where did all the laughter go? But we are grapes trampled on; we are wild donkeys refusing to be tamed; we are faithless and distrusting; we have failed our father and our friend. 

We watched, with muted pleasure, as the little branch grew strong, but we tempted her to evil out of jealousy, then watched as the Great King felled her in one stroke of the ax. 

Look now, to the little root, all that remains of the chosen  vine! The earth shuddered when the king's blade glinted in the sun, and the Heavens gasped when the sickle swung down and struck true. 

But we thought this was the coming one!
We wanted the Tree of Life!
Shall we now all perish under tyranny
where even our friend turns his face away?

My family has waited, so many thousands of years.
God, we're still hoping, even as hope turns to legend, and legend to myth;
Ancient One, we're pleading,
even as the stars go out; even as the moon fails us light.
Let the sun perish; let the earth shrivel away;
Let Sheol swallow us alive,
and let us catch in his throat--
But do not forsake us, my mighty friend;
Do not leave us in the cold.

I wasn't there when the tree he felled, when the earth entered such turmoil;
And I wasn't there when our families boiled with wrath by clan;
But I am here, some four hundred years later...
And I am here, standing guard, taking my turn at the wall, watching a buried root in hopes it might spring; 
daring not set hope too high;
What's that? Yes, even as time flies--
Even in my old age, even when my hair turns gray--
I will wait. We will wait,
for the slight chance a severed twig from a broken branch might become a new root and fill the earth, restore us all, heal the world, and destroy our taskmaster.

We wait for the foe's destruction;
we wait for our own redemption;
we wait.

26 November 2011

The Beauty of God

Beauty: that which is pleasurable (desirable) to the senses or exalts the mind: loveliness; particularly graceful or excellent; a brilliant, extreme, or egregious example/instance; good bounty; attractive


The Appearance of God
I got into it awhile back with someone who claimed beauty wasn't distinctly Christian because "Satan is beautiful." I had to beg to differ, however, and wound up using a smattering of Scriptures that, for readability, I'll just list by reference at the end of this post.   But the truth is, Satan's a wanna-be.  He's strong, pretty to look at, but at his best he's a wanna-be. The whole comparison is absurd, because it's like comparing water droplets on a back porch reflecting sunlight to the brilliance of a tropical seascape mirroring eight different colors of jewels, teeming with life, and varying in depth and warmth.



But, to my recollection, Satan's not even described much in the Scriptures, whereas by contrast  God must be beating his head against the temple walls in his attempts to condense his appearance into human language, because the Scriptures just explode with words in trying to find just the right one. Isaiah never got past describing his robe and Ezekiel and John kept passing out.  But in all these descriptions we learn one thing: He is gorgeous.

He has thick hair and bright eyes; his body is built for battle and marred with war-badges.  There's some speculation he might have wings, given a passage or two. And he's tall enough to have a robe with a train that runs out the door. Sometimes he wears robes that gleam in the light, sometimes he wears battle garb. He's worn simpler garb, a time or two. He's called a crown of glory and a diadem.*

But that's just what he looks like. God is beautiful. He lives in a beautiful place (Isaiah 63). He makes us beautiful.  He gives “beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for mourning, and peace for despair” (Isaiah 61). He's got at least three thrones and a city of gold; he holds the crown and scepter and a shepherd's crook. He's a priest-king of light, a war-hero, a man of justice and mercy, peace and excellence.  He's quick to smile and slow to rage, wise and kind. He's called a beautiful inheritance and portion,** and whatever he puts his hand to he excels at.


The Pretty Things of God
I don't think we're doing the charge in Philippians 4 justice if we neglect to consider that things that are true, good, lovely, excellent, of good report, praiseworthy, honorable/noble, virtuous, or  pure, are, in fact, desirable. Beautiful. Pretty.  Nor do I think we do Scripture justice any time it refers to the splendor, glory, or beauty of something, be it  a city or a person.  By doing this, we miss out on the drumbeat of "This is beautiful, I am more; this is magnificent; my city is more."

The most beautiful thing you've ever seen is just a shadow. The most beautiful person you've ever seen is just a shadow of his face.

And you know, I think it's funny that sometimes God makes something pretty because he can. His reasoning for the priests' garments was "glory and beauty." Or, in other words: It looks good and it's dignifying.***

Eden was beautiful. And the remade Heaven & Earth contains descriptions that barely find place in the human language. The restoration and reconciliation of the universe is, in fact, gorgeous. He calls his people beautiful, and even wisdom bestows a crown.****


The Audacity of Copycats
And then there's Satan, whose sole descriptions are "a serpent more wise than any other creature in the garden,' 'day star,' and 'fallen like lightning from heaven.' Okay, so you could probably add 'the dragon' and 'roaring lion' to those, but his claim to fame is death, destruction, cruelty, and deception. In other words, he couldn't build something that lasted if his life depended on it; he'd break it with his own hands before he even got started. Fraud, tyrant, hypocrite, and predator of the most vile kind.

This is the guy who has to lie to get anyone's attention. He's got to pass himself off as a master when he's just  a renegade servant.

So let’s not dare give Satan — that horrid, atrocious, pathetic snip of a lizard who dared challenge the Living God and only presents himself as an angel of light because he dares not come to us as his true self or we’d run from him — the corner market on beauty.  Satan is is a troll.  There is nothing desirable left in him, therefore he has to make himself look desirable.  He might be pretty on the outside – and I’ve no doubt he his, but inside he is nothing more than an open grave full of rotting corpses.  Let’s not call his putrid imitation of beauty the real, true beauty that cannot be matched because the matchless beauty is none less than Christ himself. 




*Isaiah 28:4-6
**Psalm 16:5-7; Isaiah 41:2
***Exodus 28:1-3, 29-41
****Proverbs 4:8-10; Isaiah 52:7; 60:7,9; Job 42; Ecclesiastes 3:10-13

09 November 2011

Meditations: My Childhood Best Friend

I grew up with this friend. Rather, he lived--lives--in my house. My parents invited him in one day, and he's stayed ever since. He's my bodyguard. The very thought of how strong he is both thrills and terrifies me.  He could break me in  a million pieces without effort, but his face is kind and his hands are gentle.  He gives the best bear hugs and he can carry me when I'm hurt or tired.

He makes me laugh. He's got the best of wit, tells the best jokes, and pulls the best pranks.  I've never beat him in an argument because his intellect proves me an utter fool.  All the books in the world can't contain all the stories you could tell about him.  And believe me, it's been tried.

Sometimes we go weeks without talking, but it's usually my fault.  He comes in and tackles me after awhile, then pointedly reminds me this relationship works two ways.  We really don't fight much, but he's quite accustomed to waiting out my rants before shutting me up with a well-timed one-liner of wisdom. As I said, he's very smart.

I grew up with him, and have him to thank for the days of trying to capture Tinker Belle and handwritten stories about horses who ruled an island in the middle of nowhere. We'd stay up late talking, sometimes, and other times write each other notes to read later. He liked to stretch my patience and go through my parents to make a point. Yes, he did that, even way back then. He liked to knock on the window and call me out. In college we'd roam campus and go for long walks in the park.

The truth is, I don't know life without him. He's my best friend.  He's gentle and patient with the weak and humble, but he's a nightmare to the proud and oppressive. He doesn't get angry much, but, if he does, get out of the way. Luckily it never lasts long.  He's got a bit of a jealous streak and he loves being around kids. He can be alone or in a crowd, and doesn't mind unconventional company.

He put a song in my heart and a story in my soul; he's excited when good things come and grief-stricken over the ill. He cries, more than me, truth be told.

But he also tends to jump around with his arms in the air and shout or dance around and spin me till I'm dizzy. And he laughs, often and hard--usually at me.

And you know, sometimes he drives me crazy. But I love him.  And life just really wouldn't be the same without him.

18 October 2011

Meditations: Conformed to His Image

I take comfort in God’s sovereignty.


I take pleasure in his goodness.


I am consoled by his foreknowledge and omniscience.


Of course faith and grace are gifts.


God is outside the bounds of time: therefore there is no “destined before” because God has always seen beginning to end in intricate detail simultaneously. To know before is not to destine before, for to know is simply knowledge, and to destine is to plan.


Those whom he has foreknown, he has predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son – so, then, the one whom Christ knows will be made like him.  This is not a reinterpretation of Scripture nor a glorification (or, worse, deification) of Man. Rather, this is understanding that God is infinitely good, and therefore no evil can be ascribed to him.


He is infinitely powerful, and needs not wrench my will to his, for absolute power is never in danger, nor can it be threatened.


He can be grieved and resisted, or else we never would have rebelled, and our sanctification would be complete upon salvation.


What is not God has the capacity to fall.


God created in us a will meant to conform naturally to his. The Fall severed the like-mindedness we possessed and left our souls but marred images of what was meant. But nothing happens that he doesn’t know; and nothing thwarts his desires.


Must we reinvent God? If God is Love, then he is Just and Merciful. He does not envy, he does not boast. He is not self-seeking, nor rude, nor thinks evil things. He is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. He is patient and kind; he does not boast; he is not arrogant, nor is he easily provoked.  He doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes; believes all things; endures all things. He never fails.


His kindness leads us to repentance and his tenderness is underscored by his absolute strength.  His judgments are sure and true, and his vengeance is underscored by his goodness.


He is fire, wind, water, and sustenance.


He is shepherd, teacher, and counselor.


He is Lord and Master of all that is, and calls into being that which was not, as if it were.


He is my old friend and Lord.


He is Father and Brother, firstborn over all creation, firstborn from among the dead.


He is Light that scatters the darkness. He was there before the light existed, when he hovered over the deep; and he will be Light when the light goes out.


He’s a warrior-king, a lover, a conqueror and deliverer – and his kingdom spans time and space, therefore it has no end.


He has called me.


And I have answered.


He has given me a name.


He has given me an inheritance.


He is my old friend and Lord.


I am but a drink offering.

08 October 2011

Meditation: A Prayer

And when I am old and gray May my heart forever stay Wholly and forever yours And when my soul closes doors On life temporary May my song forever be Loved and forgiven Always and completely.

11 September 2011

Meditations: Remembering.

I was in the hallway at school. It was second period. I was wearing a black shirt and blue jeans because it was a dollar day (free dress). I remember that for whatever reason I was fasting that day, so I hadn't eaten. I walked by the school office and, through the glass windows, saw a small crowd watching a TV someone had pulled in. This was weird, so I stopped and slipped into the office. I think I was watching a replay or saw the second plane hit. It took me several minutes to figure out that it really was the news and that it was NYC. It was third period when someone explained in detail what was happening. I remember our Bible teacher talking to us, warning us not to stay glued to the news and sear our minds and emotions to everything. I remember listening on the radio. I remember we ordered pizza for dinner and heard fighter jets flying over our house while we were watching the news. I remember when I finally had to turn the radio off. I remember I was working on a story that involved a terrorist, and I couldn't continue writing it. I have no idea where it is now, but I distinctly remember turning off the radio and deciding I was done with that story. To this day, I can't watch the footage for very long. Never could watch the docu-dramas or read the books. Because I remember. And God remembers, too.

06 August 2011

Meditations: Praying the Lord's Prayer

My father
Hallowed
My king
Advance
Dominion come
Obedience & glory
An empire without end
And forever strife no more
Sustainer mine
Bread & wine
Manna & feast from Heav'
Keep me lean
To make me thine
My debt is greater
Than my enemy's
Forgive us both at once
Hand of Heaven
Coming down
Temptations flee his face
My dread champion
Slay the evil
Make war with all my sin
Yours dominion
Dread warrior king
Might and glory thine.

23 July 2011

Observations & Meditations: Open-Handed


"Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
~Exodus 14.13-15


I'm working on my to-do list for the week. These things always feel like a bit of a joke because, for me, planning my life doesn't go any better than planning a novel or an essay.

As far as writing goes, it's easier for me to write start to finish, then go back and clean it up. That's easier with essays. I'm the type to finish a project and move on to the next, which means I haven't read most of my own writing. Storyboarding's a challenge because I create the outline/storyboard/insert-benevolent-term-here I know full well it's going to change...sometimes within the hour. I don't revisit the old one, I just make a new one. It's easier. It helps me keep things fresh in my mind. I've always had to write things down to remember, so maybe it all goes back to that.

My ability to plan my life, however, is far more daunting a challenge. Storyboarding, unless you're co-writing, really only involves one person and has far fewer variables as a result. Life, however, involves a few billion people who rack up the variable count exponentially.

In the real world, I'm enough of a control freak/creature of habit that you're better off not giving me a set time and date for something than changing it on me three times. And if something upsets the "perfect scenario" I've created for myself, it's a real fight not to just shut down and say forget it. And we're not talking big, drastic changes. We're talking the small ones that only throw the system off by an hour, maybe. Or a day. And I'm evidently enough of a control freak to let that one little thing be the reason I pick up my toys and go home.

Right...I'm the mature one...no, really... 0=)

But what most writers will tell you is that it's often the one thing you didn't plan, the time something changed on a whim or because it seemed more natural when you got neck-deep in a scene, that really makes the story. So we really can't worry too much, because in the end the random hitches and alterations to the timeline only serve to make everything vastly better than what you'd originally planned.

I don't think God's against planning. Jesus himself, talking to people working through whether they wanted to follow him or not, pointed out that no one starts a building project without first deciding if they have enough money to see it through. There's plenty of places in Scripture where a planning phase occurred. But Scripture's also quick to point out the futility of those plans if God is given no say in the matter, if we rush ahead without any consideration, or if we hold our own will so tightly in our grip we sabotage ourselves.

" The plans of the heart belong to man,
But the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.
All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight,
But the LORD weighs the motives.
Commit your works to the LORD
And your plans will be established. "
~Proverbs 16.1