14 March 2007

God Talk.

Someone asked why it's never recorded that Jesus laughed. Someone else replied that maybe Jesus only laughed in private with his Father. Now, I'm sure putting words in God's mouth is blasphemy, but.....

Scene 1

God: Hey, what's up?

God: Not much. You know these goobers down here don't get my jokes. I mean, the whole water to wine thing was hilarious.

God: Well, that's okay. Surely the got the whole "you're a sheep" thing.

God: Nope. Nada. I tried. Got nothing. And they really, really didn't like my "Before Abraham was, I am" line. Hey, I found it witty.

God: And it was! So, they haven't picked up on the whole "Yeshua means 'He saves'" thing yet, have they.

God: Dense as bricks. I got nothin'. *shakes head* Although Judas liked my bronze snake gig. No idea why. Guy's got a weird sense of humor.

God: Just watch out for the coin trick.

God: Right.

God: Oh! Tell me they liked the whole "let's lower the crippled dude through the roof" thing.

God: Nuh-uh.

God: Loaves and fish?

God: Tried. Twice.

God: Well, what about-

God: Nope.

God: Really? Shocking. Well, what about-

God: Nyet.

God: And-

God: Nein. See the trend?

God: So disappointing. Give a man wits and he makes brain stew.

God: Tell me about it. Party poopers.

God: Those are goats.


Scene 2

God: I just don't get it. Why didn't I record myself laughing?

God: I have no idea. I guess we should answer the question.

God: Right. So, why did we forget?

God: Well, I was kinda laughing at the time.

God: True, but Peter could've written it down.

God: Peter can barely spell his own name. But it was funny when he jumped out, then walked on water, then forgot he could swim.

God: Yeah, but I thought it was funnier when he didn't know what to say in the garden.

God: That wasn't funny! It wasn't even worth a response, and you know it!

God: Oh, come on. You laughed. I saw.

God: Did not!

God: Did too!

God: Fine, I laughed. But only when he wasn't looking. He has sensitive feelings.

God: Yeah, I know. He didn't get the "do you love me" thing either.

God: At least he tried.

God: I don't do brownie points.

1 comment:

Dorci Harris said...

Cute, Rem. ;o)