08 March 2007

More on the terror of grace.

Some didn't understand how I'm using the word "terrible." I'm not meaning it like it's this horrible, evil, vile thing. I'm using to to mean "something which strikes fear or terror."

So I don't mean that grace itself is this scary thing we dread. I'm using it the same way we use the term "the fear of the Lord".

Since God has replaced our spirit of fear for a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind (discipline), he cannot mean that we are still afraid to be in his presence. Rather, he commands us to come with confidence before the throne of grace (Hebrews 12).

And yet "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."

I do maintain there's something slightly nerve-wracking about being given something I know, beyond doubt, I don't deserve, and that, in fact, I live when I deserve death. This is why every time we sin it's such a big deal. It's the serial killer who is pardoned by his lord...and starts planning another kill.

Can you imagine the shame on the redeemed serial killer's face when his master finds those plans?

That fear of God, that terrible grace, is the part of you that shudders every time you sin, and even at the mere thought of sinning.

Per Terror's Grace, the reason my main character (Hunter) stops talking to his adopted father (whom he calls Pop) is because he's angry with him for sending him back into the circus (where his blood father is the ringmaster).

Before it's over, Hunter loses his temper, and, in a desperate attempt to save a small boy the same fate he fared, uses the same warped, perverted powers his blood father had used.

And then his phone rings, with Pop on the other end. And, the catcher is, Pop already knows.

Can you imagine the sheer terror of answering that phone after Pop has extended him so much grace?

You're right -- God's mercy is complete, and we have confidence that he is unyielding in his desire to save, and he will not abandon us.

But that doesn't stop me from being unable to pick up the phone when he comes to call me on my sin.

That's the reason Adam and Eve fled when God came looking for them.

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