Pseudo-realities, part two

So, before I said that we're developing a trend to not speak to each other, to resort to hiding behind desks, iPods, MP3 players, and text messages, to avoid being real.

And it generated much more discussion than I'm used to getting (hey, I'm still learning how to utilize the commentary section), which is always a plus.

A few friends and I have this conversation on a regular basis. My friend Elizabeth has all but sworn off computers, and she'll read her emails...eventually. 0=) Nathan checks his about once a day, and for some reason I just like to check email, even though I know there isn't really anything in there.

Strange, after a four or five month hiatus, I resumed moderating...and within a month started questioning my sanity again. As of yesterday, I've remembered why I quit modding.

The truth is, people aren't the same online. That doesn't mean we're lying, but it means we can sanitize ourselves and make ourselves something we aren't. And that isn't good either. Online, my name isn't Kaci. It's Remade...and heaven help whoever calls me otherwise. Most don't even know my real name on the boards.

The stranger part is when you start answering to nicknames born of an online handle...and you're offline. This just doesn't seem healthy to me.

I could cry out "meaningless, meaningless" like King Solomon, but that isn't really the point. The blogosphere is still strange to me, but I find merit in the blogs I read. I just choose not to spend hours on end reading and blogging. That itself is more pseudo-reality, chasings after the wind.

It's a strange world when we're so desperate to be heard that we'll sacrifice time, energy, and relationships -- throwing ourselves prostrate before people whose names we don't even know.

Then, I'm the strange child who creates an account on something like myspace or xanga out of boredom, never posts on it, then finally gets bored and deletes it. I'm the one who has deleted and installed IM about five times (it's gone now, and it isn't coming back. Period.), and has a Facebook profile but hid herself so well her own friends have trouble finding her.

Actually, I kept the Facebook strictly for publishing this blog and letting the RSS feed pick it up on my profile. That was a fun little tool, even though I'm likely the last to use it.

Honestly, the online thing just doesn't do it for me anymore. You asked for my conclusion on the matter, Nathan?

Alright: Fear God and keep his commandments. Ecclesiastes 12.

My conclusion is, I really, really miss my friends. I don't do so well on the phone, but I miss my friends, so I must call them. The truth is I browse the internet to avoid dealing with problems and to avoid work that needs to be done. The truth is, it turns my brain to mush and makes me lazy.

I joke that I picked up all my bad habits in college. And it's pretty true. I really didn't stay up late before then, was rarely on the computer, and appeared to have more discipline (though it may have been externally imposed and I didn't realize it).

There's not any true going back, I guess. Not completely. I can't take back that time. As a result of my self-induced seclusion, I became withdrawn and my melancholy disposition slipped into depression. I had gotten desperate, as I've said before (see my testimony posts).


One thing, though, is true: God gives back the years the locusts (and the crazy humans) have eaten. I can't make up for relationships I didn't make. But I can build the ones I have, and have had.

In the end, it's true: I want God with skin on, as someone so wonderfully put it once. I don't want a cold, faceless computer screen without a voice; I want warm hands and a smiling (or crying, or indignant) face, and a voice that affirms me gently or rebukes me sharply.

Networking is fine. Email correspondence is good -- there's nothing wrong with these things. But they can't compare to sharing a couch with a friend over coffee, wrestling together through this thing called life, wrestling with God and sometimes against him, striving for things above.

"The eternal God is a dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms."

Awake my glory

Just so everyone knows, I'm also on a blog called Awake, My Glory and occasionally add entries there. Just added one, which made me think to post this announcement. So yeah. I'll have to talk Andrew into adding an RSS feed to it.

Lovable?

Well, last post was interesting. I got seven comments! Yay! 0=) No, really, it makes me happy to know people actually read this thing. Although I admit I can be long-winded.

Okay, so I reverted back to my "let's avoid sleep and stay up rummaging our way through various blogs" routine the other night. Granted, it was late, and I don't recall much of it. But through some hunting, I've found the entry again, and thought it was worth citing. I still have to inform the author I've linked him. I won't quote, as I haven't asked yet.

Anyway, so he has this entry titled "Is God Lovable?"

Which, of course, interests me because that kind of question doesn't get posed very often. He's citing someone else and links a video I intend to watch but haven't yet. The question posed is, why are we commanded to love God if God is himself lovable?

So, if you actually read this: Post your thoughts. Let's try to get a little more interactive. As for myself, I'm still pondering the question.