Meditations: Because He Lives

I admittedly don't know where this came from. Perhaps a tormented character.

---


The darkness closes in
Slumber never comes
The waking never broken
By the light of twilight's peace
The moonlight is so graceful
But I'm mourning in the sun--

scorching thing, I cannot bear--

Some days I am undone.


Mourning became sadness
when sackcloth became my robe--
Bittersweet was chocolate
And ruined the honeycomb.

I strive, I strive, and do not win;
The depths of mercy can't prevail--
and here in the valley do I go,
down to the gorge of most despair.

Nothing can move me--
I am encased in steel--
Iron and bronze consume me,
and there's no place to yield.

Move aside...for I cannot.
I am the idol statue--
sans eyes, mouth, hands, and nose--
I am the undone,

a creation mocking itself.


Don't fret, O soul,
You've done this to yourself.
You know your flagrant nature,
you know the mirth grows cold.

Like browning leaves upon the ground
are the pleasant memories;
Like jewelry turned to dust and pawned
is the bridal wear you owned.

Go thy way, sluggard heart!
Flee far from me, wicked tyranny named Despair!
A warrior shall cast down your crown--
nay, that crown you stole, and he steals back---

Only a fool tries the strong man's house,
and thinks he might come unscathed.

Get thee gone, wretched fool,
who dares prey upon my soul!
Get gone, for I am silver in the fire,
and I will not heed your call!

Cease your lies, seductive purrs,
and try not the whole of me--
Though you slay me, I am not yours;
I answer to one alone.

Peace? Peace you wish?
Shalom with the carnal things?
Six and seven the good King hates--
and dare you not him try.

Kiss the Son lest he be angry;
Swear to him an oath, O soul:
That you are his, and his alone,
And none can take your heart.

A little while, and you'll be home;
A little while, and Father comes,
and a King and a Champion shall ride,
as the horsemen come for me.

The Horseman comes for me.


Get away from me, you sluggish knave,
and silence your cruel words!
Beat me, if that you will,
but my members are not yours.

And God help me, they ne'er shall be,
from now til eternity.

As a child I talked
And like children I thought,
And in a girlish way I was--

But now I am a woman;
now I am a daughter;
now I am the bride readied in her chamber;
now I am an heir with Him.

Two wives,
one a slave,
the other free--
whichever is Mother
Her daughter I'll be.


Sorrows last the night
Joy rises in the east,
And mirth follows from the west--
gold and silver circuits ne'er lost.


Stand aside, O accuser of souls;
Bow the knee, fleshly lusts--
Silence, all ye tyrants of my heart,
For only one voice do I know.


Take me, my Father God,
Be my strength, for I have none.
Be my confidence, O merciful Savior,
Be my comfort, O gracious Spirit.

Your heart is stronger than mine, my Lord;
And your will is more sovereign;
Surely you are steadfast and unmoved,
and I am a frightened child, shuddering in the dark.

I do not want to shrink back,
nor cast a glance behind while at the plow.
God most holy, God most worthy,
Sanctify me tonight.


He who hovered over the deep;
He who gave breath to Man and Woman,
He who consumed, overwhelmed, and scorched the prophets,
He who spoke with Moses face to face,
who wrestled with his chosen,
who gave power to the judges,
and raised up kings and dynasties,
and also made them low---
He who overshadowed a virgin so she gave birth,
and who was both God and man,
who came as Light and Truth and Life, Justice and Mercy and Faithfulness,
who in one act shattered the veil,
and gave access to the mercy seat where the cherubim guard--

To him be the glory and the power and the honor forever,
to him be everlasting dominion,
To him, the Thrice Holy,
To him, our great and glorious high priest---

Upon him fix your eyes, O little soul.
Tremble not, for he has seen;
he has heard, and he knows.
And he has come.

Little soul, how much greater is he than your heart.

Shaleh.

Meditations: A Song in my Head

Old song I learned on my Russia mission trip (2003). It's in my head, so I figured I'd share.



"We are one in the Spirit
We are one in the Lord

We are one in the Spirit
We are one in the Lord....

And we pray that all unity will someday be restored....


And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love,
and they'll know we are Christians by our love."



We will walk with each other

We will walk hand in hand

We will walk with each other

We will walk hand in hand

And together we’ll spread the news that God is in our land

And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love

Yes, they’ll know we are Christians by our love.



All praise to the Father

From whom all things come

And all praise to Christ Jesus

His only Son

And all praise to the Spirit

Who makes us one

And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love

Yes they’ll know we are Christians by our love."


Enjoy the day.

Meditations: Prayer out of I John

I wrote this a few days ago. A new friend of mine and I had been discussing prayer, and a few written prayers we both have. It's no secret there are some things I have prayed for many years, largely from Psalms.

So I've added a new one. It's not finished, yet, but I thought, for those who might have felt the same way before:


"Be greater than my heart, O Lord my God;
Be greater when my heart condemns me;
When my conscience will not yield command,
and I cannot see my sin--
Be greater than me, O Lord,
Be greater than my heart."



11This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 12Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother's were righteous. 13Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. 14We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. 15Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 17If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 18Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 19This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence 20whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

21Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. 23And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 24Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.

~I John 3:16-21




"Be greater than my heart, O Lord my God;
Be greater when my heart condemns me;
When my conscience will not yield command,
and I cannot see my sin--
Be greater than me, O Lord,
Be greater than my heart."

The Return

For all the Facebook junkies, yes, I'm back now. Not much has changed, though my spirit feels a bit the way my calf muscle used to feel after being stretched too far, or cramped, or something. I'll likely be posting some more Observations of a Church Brat soon to get it all out. Whatever it is, it's in deep, and I haven't fished it out yet.

Just a taste, though, I've been doing a lot of reading, far too much contemplating, and am about two chapters into a new book. This one is tentatively called Bruising Reeds, and it's probably the most difficult think I've tried my hand at yet. The challenge, though, is half the fun. Okay, so I'm intimidated. 0=)

I hope you've enjoyed the poems; those were unexpected Meditations. Tonight I'm in charge of our home group lesson. Alice made me. 0=) It's my first time, so I'm nervous about that, too. A little. By the time you hear from me again, it'll be over.

All that said, life is good; and God is better.

I've gotten through pretty much everything but the notes I was tagged in, and I may or may not get to those. Life's a bit crazy right now.


Hope all's well. Remember whose you are.

Meditations: Restless for a Lullaby

Took me awhile to decide on posting this. But maybe, maybe the song's for you.


So restless I can't even find a song,
there where I belong;
neither poem nor prayer nor litany
can end the ceaseless melody
of disquiet unharmony
breaking inside my soul.

God most high,
God who is,
God most holy,
God come save me---
Save me from myself
and let the tears come down,
let it all come down,
crashing down, to the ground.

Break, O soul;
Weep and wail;
know that tyranny won't prevail
and the darkness must die;
and the veil must lift--
or else this is all in vain,
striving after the wind,
and you but yourself mist.

Cry, O soul, if you can find the tears,
Rage, spirit inside,
or else be terrified---
won't you live, heart of flesh,
or is that only a stone,
a stone with neither ears nor eyes,
and faded brittle bone.

Dust of man fall;
O heavens, be appalled;
Grace not the door of my escape--
Spirit of God, can you give me grace?
Down here, the grace to walk;
the grace to stand;
the grace to walk in your command?

God of Glory, come down again;
or lift me up, whichever be
in your sight the most pleasing.
Yours I am; yours I'll be----
That is my vow;
where else can I go?

God, my God, where are you?
God, my God, dwell with me,
and forever a temple I'll be;
God, my God, lover of my soul til death--
death which I'll never taste--
Spirit me onward, lest I fall--
can I at least clutch your robe?

Is bleeding really living;
Is sorrow really dying?
Shall I live forever
In the duel of heart and soul?
God, my God, strength of mine--
Come heal me; make me whole;
aren't I yours, Daddy?


Let me in tonight;
I'll run nowhere else;
To Zion only shall I go;
To Sinai's peak with an unveiled face;
to the mercy seat between cherubim--
There, there only shall you find
This elusive child of Thine.

God most high,
come meet with me---
How well I knew you once;
How we laughed and danced--
Can we sing again,
Sing over me tonight,
Let your voice breathe over me;
Let your fingers touch my soul.

I love you.
Goodnight.