Meditations: Traitor's Confession

The world, it shifts like sinking sand,
but you are the rock by which we stand.
You know our frailties and our sin
yet you still let us in.
Your arms they are open, oh so wide,
You're ever calling us to your side, even when our violations deep
threaten to end in burning heap.

And at your voice, I see what I've done,
you say my name - and there, you've won -
I collapse in bed with sorrow's tears;
We know this should take my years,
and my life should strip away in irons and decay.

But your heart is like a lion
wishing me to Zion -
If only I'd confessed,
my soul would be at rest.
But far worse than prison bars
are the everlasting scars
             there on your heart and hands.
Your eyes sear me with firebrands
because you cannot be bought;
and I know what ills I've wrought
seeking my own destiny, making you betrayed.
If only near you I had stayed
our hearts would've remained
            and the wounded would live again.

You are ever gracious, ever quick to save;
Your kindness I've mistreated for my own rave.
Your forgiveness overwhelms me;
I'm drowning in the sea
         of your tempestuous grace.
I cannot buy you, nor your heart manipulate -
Must I do nothing, while consigned to such a state? -
Your favor I yearn for;
Your heartbreak is more
           than I have words to say.
You said to wait for healing, so while I wait for day,
Under your wing , O lord of fate, I'll retreat
until the edges of broken skin do meet.