First Steps
Admittedly, there's part of me that enjoys the mystery of leaving this question unanswered. I can guess the type of church brat, generally speaking, based on the responses to my ridiculous jokes, be they cynical or amiable. But I'm really tormenting some people, and others clearly have read things into my little pet-name that I never intended. So, in the interest of clarity, I'm diving in, I'm going deep... Oh, sorry.
A church brat is anyone who grew up in church or who's been a believer long enough to acclimate. I view Christianity - worldwide, true blue Christianity - as one really, really big family that goes back to the Garden. (For the record, the OT saints were every bit as saved by grace through faith as the NT...and, in my mind, possibly more so.) This means that I think of every one who has ever looked forward to God's salvation or looked back at the Cross as my brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and children.
That said, I offer two caveats every time I post an Observations of a Church brat note:
First, if you're new to the family: Have no fear. Be patient during the acclimation phase. Far too soon you'll understand things you need to and things you wish you'd left alone. Don't ask me how long that is, I can't tell you. There's not a time requirement. If you understand *any* of the jokes or quirks, you are a church brat. If you don't, never fear. Just hang on tight. Okay, be afraid of some of us. 0=) But you'll get it, eventually - once you've joined the family dinner table a few times. And, I hate to break it to you, but your kids, now that you're here, will be church brats from birth. You have been adopted by the Most High into the biggest, oldest family on this earth. And you can't take in thousands of years of family history overnight.
Also, as a rule, my general note to newbies is to steer clear of anything that isn't a core family value for a bit. Stick to things like who God is, who man is, salvation, the Lord's Supper/Communion/Eucharist/insert witty term here, and baptism. Work on acclimating to your new life - complete with a new family and a new God. Don't let anyone confuse or overwhelm you with peripheral arguments. Doctrine may well be important, but I'd rather you go slow and take time to get comfortable in this new skin. Don't worry about Calvin's Institutes of the Christian Religion or the rather forceful fights between Luther and Erasmus or why Church A isn't talking to Church B. I'd really rather you dive into the Word and fix your eyes on our great and glorious author and perfecter of our faith.
Second, I realize growing up in church doesn't immediately make you a Christian. That just means we have family friends who understand the jokes. Or something. Don't overthink it. If you are a church brat who, for whatever reason, isn't part of the family, well, you're still welcome at the table. House rules apply. And even if you're just visiting, you're still welcome and house rules still apply. But here's the thing: trying to get in on the church brat jokes or understand why eight denominations don't get along is not that different from trying to understand inside family jokes or complicated family history and social dynamics. It's very difficult for those who do understand to explain, assuming they can even articulate it. You're more than welcome, but please understand that when it comes to idiosyncrasies in church you're more often than not walking in on a family discussion at best and fight at worst. The best possible thing for a guest to do when confronted with two members of the same family fighting with each other is to let it be. Observations of a Church Brat is written primarily with Christians in mind. That's not to be rude; it's just a family discussion, is all.
The Road Thrice Traveled
I never set out to be the harbinger of church brattiness, but here I am. I suppose the entire thing started back in my Dekker moderating days, back when I was fighting a bout of frustration of the utterly ridiculous positions Christendom finds itself in. And, no, I'm not talking about theology, or flaws, or supposed runs of hypocrisy - I'm talking about real things that we do and think that are normal to us until someone points out how funny it is.
Really, it started with Pick out the Sanctuary Carpet & Other Grievances, I think. That began my road of doom, where in a rare moment of satire I used an imaginary fight over carpet color to demonstrate how arbitrary most of our "in-house" arguments can be. Not too long after that, I chose to begin the Observations of a Church Brat series primarily to understand my own faith. I had a lot of questions. I needed to nail down my own theology. So I started talking: legalism & liberalism; hypocrisy & sin; prayer; devotion; orthodoxy, unorthodoxy, and heresy. From there, it just spiraled. I discovered various kinds of church brats - labels which often overlap: renegades, rebels, & Pharisees; artsy types; and so on. Quirks, oddities, and tomfooleries of all kinds. From that point on, it's become almost a game of who can find the best church brat moment or symbol.
But the important part that I cannot stress emphatically enough is that I am not operating in a spirit of cynicism, all jaded, dechurched, and disillusioned. I am not taking potshots, nor am I demeaning Christians as a whole. That would be inaccurate, arrogant, and out of place. To cut down my own family is to go against every teaching of Jesus and the Apostles (I am so glad that never became a band name). To see flaws in the American Arm of Christendom and impose them globally and across time is to insult the saints who walked a bloody road ahead of me - those who now join a throng of onlookers watching us - and those still alive who even now may well be taking their lives in their hands. Even my church brat jokes have a limited use because they are primarily from the perspective of an American Protestant Church Brat living in the buckle of the Bible Belt. So *any* church brat observation I make is intended in a spirit of love, camaraderie, and brotherhood.
And if you suddenly broke out into song or a verse popped in your head just now...you are so unequivocally a church brat. 0=)
